Options

For the last week or so, I've been thinking about something in my life. I'm fifteen now, and I realized something that I've never thought about. I have options. I have genuine, real options of what I want to do with my life. Not that I haven't before, but nothing to this degree.

I could move to Canada and be syrup. I mean, I don't know much about Canada, but I know they've got syrup.

But, seriously, it's weird to think about. Three years, and I can basically go do whatever I want with my life. I probably won't leave as soon as I turn eighteen, since I'd like to be able to live without starving to death, but I could technically do it.

I don't really know what I want to do with my life at this point, and I really would like to. I'm one of those people who likes to have at least a basic idea of what I want to do with myself. I know I like art of basically every variety, I love music, and of course aviation and physics. Those are all things that I would like to be able to do something with for the rest of my life, but for the most part, they aren't reliable ways to get a job.

Aviation is possible, yes, but I'd like a job where I'm not moving around constantly, and can be home a reasonable amount of time. Art is also possible, especially with video game development becoming so based on 3d work and concept art, but it is another one of those things where the primary hubs for game development are places I don't particularly want to go, and even if I did, companies close all the time, so I doubt I'd live in one place for very long.

Music is pretty much not going to happen without absurd amounts of luck, so I'm ruling that out unless it's just a small side job, and physics is something I could do, but I don't think I'd want to. (NASA apparently likes having astrophysicists around. Imagine that.)

I am actually to the point with gaming where I could, with a little practice, play on a low to mid end professional Team Fortress 2 team full time relatively easily if the game had a better E-sports following. I could do that with Counter Strike if I wanted to dedicate the time and money, but it's borderline impossible to get a new team into CS without already knowing the players who are there currently.

I don't think gaming is a really solid career path quite yet, however. E-sports is just now getting popular enough for the top teams to do full time, so that would be no more than a pipe dream at most. In 10-20 years, it may be more mainstream, but I'll be too old to play games professionally by time I'm 30. Taz, who plays for Virtus Pro, is 29 and people have been saying he should retire for a few years.

I could end up getting married at some point and just working a construction job or something like that for all I know. I don't think I'd want to get a job building houses, and getting married any time remotely soon (Yes, I view 5-10 years as soon) is a thought that terrifies me for various reasons, but I haven't been to the future, I have no idea what will happen.

The only thing I know is I have things I can do, and that is a very, very weird thing to know.

All my life, I've really only been worried about getting done with school and getting myself under control. I'm not done with school, and I still have my own issues, but it's to the point where I have a lot more to think about than just "I'm gonna do school and then go play Guild Wars!" like I always used to do.

At the end of the day, I am where I am because of a million different options I selected, whether I like them or not, so I guess I am to some extent where I want to be. It is in a very roundabout sort of way, because I'm really not, but it is where I brought myself to, after all.

Fifteen years, in the grand scheme of things, is nothing, but so much has changed in the last century or so, I'm interested to see what will happen in the next fifty to sixty years, and who it will affect.